I'm just going to reconfigure my budget and figure out how how to order almost everything online... I've spent almost $200 today and I don't even know how long this food is going to last me and trying to find grass-fed anything is either ultra pricey or non-existent... And I still can't figure out for the life of me how I'm supposed to buy 14 lb of organic vegetables per person on a weekly basis on an uber tight budget...
...but I no longer live my life with expectations. Yesterday, while watching a video where ladies were voicing what motivated them, the first words I heard were: I'm motivated by the "big picture." I was stopped in my tracks; I could feel the pain of tears welling up in my eyes. I had to pause the video, and absorb the powerful emotion moving through me. I realized, in those moments, I haven't had a big picture for years. I've been surviving; failing to hope; struggling against time and fate; and releasing everything that ever mattered to me...into the wind. My shoulders shook with the revelation. When I was still again, a soft smile spread upon my face, like a pebble hitting a pond. Given the past few days, I could see, I have a "picture" now of some kind... Something I wrote, to a friend, past November, has returned to me...and a new light has sparked within my Soul.... These days, I now choose to Love and to Trust. That's my Big Picture... Bless ...
BEST camera app! Not even edited! All camera lenses create an unavoidable distortion that makes our faces not look like they actually do in real life, and I haven't been able to find a decent camera app... Everything's all about selfies and makeup and filters and smoothing blemishes! I just want my nose to not look 30% bigger than it actually is, and I want my face to look like it does when I look in the mirror--which, honestly, isn't half bad! And it's Perfect! See how balanced it is? No fisheye distortion; no extra crevices or haunting shadows in my face; no weird lighting effects... Just is, and just what I see when I look in the damn mirror!
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