Life is returning!!!

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 The Library's open! Well...sorta. It's curbside is open!




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No more food!

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I'm just going to reconfigure my budget and figure out how how to order almost everything online... I've spent almost $200 today and I don't even know how long this food is going to last me and trying to find grass-fed anything is either ultra pricey or non-existent... And I still can't figure out for the life of me how I'm supposed to buy 14 lb of organic vegetables per person on a weekly basis on an uber tight budget...
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I used to have dreams...

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...but I no longer live my life with expectations. Yesterday, while watching a video where ladies were voicing what motivated them, the first words I heard were: I'm motivated by the "big picture."  I was stopped in my tracks; I could feel the pain of tears welling up in my eyes. I had to pause the video, and absorb the powerful emotion moving through me. I realized, in those moments, I haven't had a big picture for years. I've been surviving; failing to hope; struggling against time and fate; and releasing everything that ever mattered to me...into the wind. My shoulders shook with the revelation. When I was still again, a soft smile spread upon my face, like a pebble hitting a pond. Given the past few days, I could see, I have a "picture" now of some kind... Something I wrote, to a friend, past November, has returned to me...and a new light has sparked within my Soul.... These days, I now choose to Love and to Trust. That's my Big Picture... Bless ...
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Footej!

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Image
BEST camera app! Not even edited! All camera lenses create an unavoidable distortion that makes our faces not look like they actually do in real life, and I haven't been able to find a decent camera app... Everything's all about selfies and makeup and filters and smoothing blemishes! I just want my nose to not look 30% bigger than it actually is, and I want my face to look like it does when I look in the mirror--which, honestly, isn't half bad!   And it's Perfect! See how balanced it is? No fisheye distortion; no extra crevices or haunting shadows in my face; no weird lighting effects... Just is, and just what I see when I look in the damn mirror!
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